Every blizzard I've ever been in -- from Chicago to Fargo, North Dakota to Minneapolis to New York -- has its Snow Soldiers. These TV reporters get sent by their editors to various locales around the city in question, for the express purpose of standing outdoors in blizzards.
They bring rulers and yardsticks with which to measure the deluge. They collar passers-by and hope for a great blizzard yarn. What they usually hear: "I went out to get some milk and diet soda and then you called me over."
The colder and more encrusted by ice and snow the reporters get, the more they're enjoyed by their bosses. I'm not sure if we learn much about the weather from them. It seems to be the same lesson every year: standing out in a blizzard doesn't feel good at all. That's why the only people who do it are police officers and television reporters.
If you happen to befriend a television reporter, give them long underwear from someplace that specializes in outdoor toughness, like Patagonia. Hope that your friend doesn't suffer too telegenically -- otherwise, they'll get called upon to play human windsock or human snowcone. Or human yardstick.
Monday, December 27, 2010
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