The Snow Soldiers, 2010

Every blizzard I've ever been in -- from Chicago to Fargo, North Dakota to Minneapolis to New York -- has its Snow Soldiers. These TV reporters get sent by their editors to various locales around the city in question, for the express purpose of standing outdoors in blizzards.

They bring rulers and yardsticks with which to measure the deluge.  They collar passers-by and hope for a great blizzard yarn. What they usually hear: "I went out to get some milk and diet soda and then you called me over."

The colder and more encrusted by ice and snow the reporters get, the more they're enjoyed by their bosses. I'm not sure if we learn much about the weather from them. It seems to be the same lesson every year: standing out in a blizzard doesn't feel good at all. That's why the only people who do it are police officers and television reporters. 

If you happen to befriend a television reporter, give them long underwear from someplace that specializes in outdoor toughness, like Patagonia. Hope that your friend doesn't suffer too telegenically -- otherwise, they'll get called upon to play human windsock or human snowcone. Or human yardstick.

Once Again, "The Good Wife" Goes Wow

"The Good Wife" is having a jaw-dropping second season. The episode first run on October 19th nearly boiled over with crucial character and plot development. Just when hissing and spilling was almost reached, however, the writers and cast pulled back and gave us a moment or two for cooling off and  relishing some small, tasty detail -- a character's glance here, an exhale of relief there...

I hope the show brings back Mamie Gummer as often as possible. She's so subtle and funny and intense -- all at once -- you forget that she's Meryl Streep's daughter. Gummer deserves to be watched and cheered for, period.

Don't worry if you missed Season One, or the start of this season. Just jump in when you can. If needed, episode recaps can be found on the CBS site. "The Good Wife" is so well-written and acted, though, that you'll learn about the series' past from jumping in to the present. As for the good wife herself, Juliana Margulies? I try to find weaknesses in her work from time to time -- but usually I'm too busy just enjoying the heck out of her genius.

Give Tim Gunn his own show again

I love Tim Gunn on "Project Runway". I'm going to love his two books, once I buy and read them. I love the man's honesty about his celibacy, about being bullied as a kid, about trying to take his own life at age seventeen and how happy he is now that said attempt failed.

If I were a handsome, well-educated single gay man, I'd try to find a way to ask Tim Gunn on a date.

In lieu of a date, I'll settle for Lifetime giving Mr. Gunn his own show in addition to "PR". Bravo's effort, "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style", taught me a lot about fashion, self-esteem, wry humor, and life. Sir Gunn got thoroughly annoyed with Bravo when they tried to cast a second banana with whom he'd clash and create drama; if Lifetime promises not to pull such unreality stunts, I wonder if he'd consider it?

Besides being well-mannered, droll, kind, smart....Tim Gunn has a lot of life from which to draw genuinely interesting show content. As for fashion, few in the business know as much about helping people to look as good as their God-given faces and bodies will allow. That alone is more than enough for a broadcast.

Joy Behar Loves Doing Homework

Happy first year anniversary to Joy Behar on HLN (9 p.m. and 1 a.m.).  Yes, it's the Joy Behar from The View, flying solo and sitting in the pilot's seat. 

On just about any topic this hour show hits, count me in. It turns out to be a lot of counting: She loves to hit a thousand topics per episode, the more diverse the list,  the better.

 Behar is a comic by trade, but she has a strong streak of the PhD. in her. That's how she manages to be a semi-expert on everything from reality television to Millenium feminism to celebrity culture to civil rights law -- the list is as long as your imagination can imagine.

This is a commentary/interview/comedy show with  a compulsive's need to learn.

Not only does Behar avoid boring her viewers, she manages to edify in bite-size units. No wonder she's increased HLN's viewership by 14%. What a piece of work.

Jimmy Fallon, of all people!

Before the 2010 Emmys dim completely in the pop culture memory bank, I have to lift an imaginary glass of the beer I don't drink to Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, I've seen his late-night gig, but never forced myself to concentrate and truly give the guy a chance.

I was concentrating last Sunday during the Emmy opening sketch/musical triumph. It turns out that Jimmy Fallon can play a very mean guitar and brilliantly sing like a lot of people, including (for that blazing opener) Bruce Springsteen. Fallon and an oddball crew of surprising talents, plus the wizard leads from "Glee", knocked out one of the very the best openings of an awards show I've seen in the bazillion years I've been watching awards shows.


For three hours, the whole affair levitated every time Fallon stepped on the stage.

I will never ignore Jimmy Fallon again. Neither will millions of other people who saw the Emmys, and really saw Jimmy Fallon, finally.

Whew. Finally, I understand my great affection for the reality TV celebrity  Bethenny Frankel. The (former? current?) co-star of "The Real Housewives of New York City" happens to be a humorous, brainy writer.

I'm not referring to her two co-authored "Skinny Girl" diet-related bestsellers. I haven't even read them yet. I'm talking about her top-of-the-head commentary throughout her solo Bravo series, "Bethenny Getting Married?" As new husband Jason (astute observer!) commented, Bethenny has been made warmer, more nurturing, more forgiving and more open by marriage and motherhood.

Still, she's got enough bitchery in her to spice up the just-revealed niceness. I laughed loudly and often during the series.

Bethenny, let the funny run loose in your next book. You have another career out there waiting for you to take the quantum leap of faith in a nascent literary gift.

Do I Have To Get Grumpy?

I'm wondering about my innate levels of grumpiness.

I made a moderate amount of dough in the Eighties writing reviews and critical pieces -- but I never felt entirely comfortable commiting my opinions to print where the musicians in question could read the judgements and actually have crummy feelings about them.

As an inconsistent singer/songwriter who worked in low-rent bars in the Seventies, I knew how performers and artists felt getting bad reviews.

The review I remember most vividly came in Houston, Texas, at a singles bar. I was in an inspiringly mediocre band based in a small Midwestern town. We got this Houston gig on exceedingly short notice and drove forty-eight hours straight to arrive there more or less on time. The guys' faces needed shaving and my dress needed ironing. We all looked drugged by the exhaustion.

"Hi," I hollered to the crowd while the men hustled around the small stage, plugging in amps and checking connections. "We're Music Kicks, and we came here all the way from Iowa."

The drawl curled up slow, low, Southern and loud.  "You shoulda stayed there."

We all spent most of the week catching bronchitis from each other thanks in part to frigid air conditioning.

Ten years after I wrote a review of a Hall and Oates album for a national publication, Daryl Hall interrupted a friendly, long chat to tell me how much I hurt his girlfriend when I called the lyrics to "Maneater" sexist.

I felt pained that Sarah had taken it so hard, even while she made a king's ransom in royalties from the tune. "It's a good source of income, so why does she care what I said? I've never  been a big-deal critic or anything."

"But you're a woman," he replied, still looking distressed. "She thought you'd understand. You sound intelligent when you write -- she knew you were one of the sharp ones. Money doesn't stop anyone from wantiing support and applause."  He laughed, apparently relieved that at least I responded with concern."The ones who say they don't care are liars."

I've always preferred writing musicians' profiles anyway.

Still, the inner Miss Opinions takes the reviewer jobs when they're there.

I try to write smart, write fair, write funny, and stick in a little snark to pay homage to some of my favorite critics.

There, now, I've revealed myself to be A Wimpy Critic. Do I have to get grumpy to be interesting for even myself to read?

Sarah would say no, I bet. She'd tell me to fake the snark, feign the grump and without getting corny, write from the heart.

I could do that, Sarah. I hope.

Every Year. The Cute and Talent-Free

I wish no ill on Casey James, one of the final three on the current "American Idol" season.
But the man can only lay claim to being an adequate bar band singer.

The most memorable thing about Blondie's voice isn't a good thing.

It's his vibrato, rapid-fire, jagged. As Kara said when she (finally!) noticed it, James' vibrato resembles the sounds that sheep make.

How the heck did James take a spot in the final three when a master-in-the-making, Big Mike Lynch, was sent packing?

I hate to credit James' looks, but his sweet appearance and sweet personality tipped the scales. Lynch has a great personality but he's not pretty.

Crystal Bowersox could be as pretty as Casey James, but she refuses to fuss. The year's best singer is in the final three anyway.

Like Simon might say it, sometimes America gets it right.

Sometimes. The final two knockout is making me sweat.