For now, a very lonesome storyline

My first memory of television soap operas goes waaaaay back to the late Fifties/very early Sixties. It's a vague recall of a spooky set of opening credits, mood-i-fied by the cheesy genius of  soap opera organ music.Then I started watching classics like "Ryan's Hope", "All My Children", "Another World", "As the World Turns", "Guiding Light", and, of course, "General Hospital". I was a freelance writer; I could work and stay up to speed on storylines like the wedding of Luke and Laura on GH. I thought some of the actors and stories just radiated creative spark. I thought they were plenty good enough for nighttime television; sometimes, too good. Other actors and plots, unfortunately, smelled like very old gym shoes. True soap fans were able to go from "wonderful" to "horrifying" in a single episode, being delighted by the inconsistency itself. Most soap fans knew that there was little or no rehersal time, very little turnover time for scripts, and that part of the genius of those who did it well was their ability to be brilliant on a half-second's notice.

So it's with real sorrow that I note, along with thousands of other scribes, that after September 2011, we'll only have six soaps left. Cancelled in the last few years (or the last few months): "Another World","As the World Turns", "Ryan's Hope", "Passions", "Guiding Light", "Port Charles", "Sunset Beach", and, finally, "One Life To Live" and "All My Children". It's true. Erica Kane is momentarily out of work.

I'm not going to add my theories about why soap operas -- or, much more accurately, daytime dramas -- have been leaving the screen. I only know that I'm losing the chance to see some of the best young talent, and the best older talent, on a daily basis. I tip my hat to all of them. They gave me decades of bad TV, mediocre TV, good TV, and, sometimes, great TV.

"The Killing" -- Sunday night telescape shake-up

Getting gripped by yet another series -- the last thing I need. I took the chance on AMC's "The Killing" anyway. A couple of critics I trust think it's scripted drama's version of top-line couture. I don't know how to explain fully why it's so wonderful -- not yet. From seeing the pilot episode and the first, hour-long episode, twice each, I can at least promise you that it's shockingly compassionate, even to those who look most likely to have committed the title's crime. I can promise you extraordinary cinematography; "The Killing" does not get the visual treatment afforded most television dramas. This is a serialized movie. The colors they find in Seattle's loneliest corners make it into a film all by themselves. The young girl who was murdered comes vividly alive through the shock of her parents and friends. Like "Mad Men" and "Breaking Bad", this storytelling takes its time. The actors bring  mysteries and questions just by the way they enter a scene -- they're that skilled and almost musical.

As for the police who will supposedly be the ones to solve the mystery -- they're the most merely human TV cops I've ever seen. Here's hoping "The Killing" remains the gift to the audience it is now. If not? The first two hours will always be in my file, under "How Good Can Scripted Television Get?"

New Idol, New Housewives, New Lightbulbs

For reasons I don't understand, I've been avoiding "American Idol", after being a semi-steady viewer every season. At first I got it: I hate the stinky would-be singers that the producers stick into every episode of the city-to-city  auditions. I was sure I was going to dislike Jennifer Lopez and miss Simon Cowell too much to make the transition.


Then I watched parts of a few early episodes and got a small shock. J-Lo wasn't being a diva; even more important, Steven Tyler, Jennifer and senior judge Randy Jackson were bonding. The chemistry seemed great. I felt delighted relief.


I avoided watching again for another three weeks at least.


Tonight I tried AI again, during one of the Hollywood Final 24 hours.
The chemistry between the three judges has gotten even richer.
I still miss Simon Cowell's smart frankness, but each judge is clearly trying not to be a kissy-huggy sentimentalist. The singers being pared down sound at least okay, if not excellent. (One heartfelt plea, however -- don't sing "I'm Not Going" or any Whitney Houston oldies, okay? Please??)  It looks like I might be back on the American Idol track again after all.


The bad news this week comes with the debut of "The Real Housewives of Miami". The culture of argument and gold-star meanness has just plain worn me out. When Simon Cowell got mean and argumentative, he had points to make. These women simply lack adult filters, signs of grown-up psyches that can handle impulses to say cruel things. Other than checking Bethenny Frankel's second season as a solo ex-housewife, I am done with this franchise.

Remind me not to be "Real" when I grow up.

Later, Sarah -- Much Later

I hate to admit that I can't watch something. My ego likes to think that I can view all TV, no matter how pea-brained, strange, cliched, etc. I draw the line at porn and gratitous violence. That's it.

Supposedly.

I couldn't watch "Sarah Palin's Alaska" (TLC), whose first season ends this week. I tried. Politics wasn't the issue. There's something about Ms. Palin that makes my skin crawl. I felt it the first time I saw her on the news during the 2008 Presidential race.

Bristol, by contrast, has some inexplicable charm and authenticity that kept her on "Dancing With The Stars" this past season.  Still, every time the camera grabbed a quick shot of Mama Sarah, applauding her girl, I recoiiled.

Betcha she'll be back for a second season on TLC. As the woman herself says, don't retreat. Just reload.

The Snow Soldiers, 2010

Every blizzard I've ever been in -- from Chicago to Fargo, North Dakota to Minneapolis to New York -- has its Snow Soldiers. These TV reporters get sent by their editors to various locales around the city in question, for the express purpose of standing outdoors in blizzards.

They bring rulers and yardsticks with which to measure the deluge.  They collar passers-by and hope for a great blizzard yarn. What they usually hear: "I went out to get some milk and diet soda and then you called me over."

The colder and more encrusted by ice and snow the reporters get, the more they're enjoyed by their bosses. I'm not sure if we learn much about the weather from them. It seems to be the same lesson every year: standing out in a blizzard doesn't feel good at all. That's why the only people who do it are police officers and television reporters. 

If you happen to befriend a television reporter, give them long underwear from someplace that specializes in outdoor toughness, like Patagonia. Hope that your friend doesn't suffer too telegenically -- otherwise, they'll get called upon to play human windsock or human snowcone. Or human yardstick.

Once Again, "The Good Wife" Goes Wow

"The Good Wife" is having a jaw-dropping second season. The episode first run on October 19th nearly boiled over with crucial character and plot development. Just when hissing and spilling was almost reached, however, the writers and cast pulled back and gave us a moment or two for cooling off and  relishing some small, tasty detail -- a character's glance here, an exhale of relief there...

I hope the show brings back Mamie Gummer as often as possible. She's so subtle and funny and intense -- all at once -- you forget that she's Meryl Streep's daughter. Gummer deserves to be watched and cheered for, period.

Don't worry if you missed Season One, or the start of this season. Just jump in when you can. If needed, episode recaps can be found on the CBS site. "The Good Wife" is so well-written and acted, though, that you'll learn about the series' past from jumping in to the present. As for the good wife herself, Juliana Margulies? I try to find weaknesses in her work from time to time -- but usually I'm too busy just enjoying the heck out of her genius.

Give Tim Gunn his own show again

I love Tim Gunn on "Project Runway". I'm going to love his two books, once I buy and read them. I love the man's honesty about his celibacy, about being bullied as a kid, about trying to take his own life at age seventeen and how happy he is now that said attempt failed.

If I were a handsome, well-educated single gay man, I'd try to find a way to ask Tim Gunn on a date.

In lieu of a date, I'll settle for Lifetime giving Mr. Gunn his own show in addition to "PR". Bravo's effort, "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style", taught me a lot about fashion, self-esteem, wry humor, and life. Sir Gunn got thoroughly annoyed with Bravo when they tried to cast a second banana with whom he'd clash and create drama; if Lifetime promises not to pull such unreality stunts, I wonder if he'd consider it?

Besides being well-mannered, droll, kind, smart....Tim Gunn has a lot of life from which to draw genuinely interesting show content. As for fashion, few in the business know as much about helping people to look as good as their God-given faces and bodies will allow. That alone is more than enough for a broadcast.